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Organizing Hebrew School workers 

My middle daughter, writing in our new secret code, which is the Phoenician alphabet

But the Cocoon,
In its Infinite Wisdom,
Remained Silent

lmao

You Are Real
Said the Butterfly
To the Caterpillar

You Are Also
Said the Caterpillar
To the Butterfly

jl feinstein 2019

twitter.com/jakebackpack/statu

<<I do sort of love the fact that people think a species that can't manage a perfect 4-billion-year old self-sustaining solar-powered biosphere surrounded by its own self-generated forcefield are gonna somehow be able to build a viable space habitat. >>

drugs 

When I come across new social media software and no one has bothered to think about abuse, it's like a plumber coming in to check out the house you're building and finding no one has installed any pipes, but you've already put up the walls. You are gonna have a house filled with poo, and the only people who will come in your house are people who enjoy shit.

if you've ever said "judeo-christian" unironically you don't have a Jewish soul, sorry not sorry

‏אַ שידוך זאָל מען טאָן אין דער היים, אַ גנבֿה אין דער אַרבעט.‎‎

Cops 

So I am hosting a musician on tour that a lot of people really love and I am trying to invite some people to meet him but I also don't want to make it into a tourist trap, and I feel sleazy wielding this kind of power

@kittybecca hey I wanted to let you know that I have been occasionally taking screenshots of your public toots and sharing them on other social media. I was like, Twitter etiquette. However, you have so many good takes I want to share that I feel that I need to ask you for permission

May I share your Ben Shapiro toot and other good takes in the future?

there's no such thing as "judeo-christian civilization" ben shapiro, just convert to christianity already and fuck off and stop misrepresenting Jews

slogan suggestion: "because hating you won't make you suck any less"

So Daniel Kahn will be staying at my place for 2 nights while he's performing in town. I've talked so much shit about this guy's music. There will be fascinating conversations. I'm stoked you all

Age 

one day they are in deep space. everyone knows what the stardate was, but then they forgot, on account of how deep they are in space (9 levels). they stayed there for so long that there was another generation. nothing interesting happens, kirk kisses an alien on TV foe the first time, nothing interesting continues to happen. the borg fight the ferengi, whom i hate for being anti-semitic. there's no conflict, except thet are sad about when the red shirt dies

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